I wrote Aaron a letter last night. I was quite determined to get it finished and as a result stayed up until 2 am writing it. It has everything in it. Everything that's never been brought to the surface. Everything that's kept hidden away. Last night I was determined to mail it to him, to finally get rid of all these things, but now I'm not so sure. It wasn't even one of those letters that you write with the intention of never sending, I wanted to send it, but now I don't know. I guess it's partly because I'm afraid of what he'll think, but mostly I think it's because writing everything down and getting it out of my system has helped and I don't feel as strong of a need to send it to him.

Maybe I still will. Maybe it'll get lost in the mail. Maybe he'll hate me. I don't know. I do know that I've decided to let God handle it and if He wants it to be mailed, I'll mail it. If I don't hear/feel anything more on the matter, I'll fold it up nicely and put it in a box. Maybe it'll come in handy some day.