The Simplest Happiness

Swirling swirling, dancing twirling
Eyes shut tight, head thrown back
Bare feet scratching in the dust
Sun reflecting in my face

Blowing on the breeze
The song of my life
Quiet orchestral
Loud and rumbling
Softly now, harshly trembling

Alone for miles
Surrounded by laughter
White cloth, morning dew
Silence broken only by the song in my head

The voices lifting, flowing down
Life is nothing
Life is everything
Life is twirling round and round

Yay for stretching my ears.. Sometime around last summer, or even before, I stretched my ears up to 14ga (yea yea, I know.. that's not really a stretch at all, but still. It made me happy. And my third holes DID start out at 18ga or smaller). Anywho, I was good with that for a while and wasn't really sure if I felt inclined to make them bigger or not, but I had a coupon for 15% off at the body jewlery place at my school and wanted to use it and they had some very nice spirally earrings which are somewhere around a 10ga or 12ga. So I bought them and now they are halfway in my ears (since they gradually get thicker, I can just push them in a little farther each day and eventually my ears will be stretched a wee bit more).

Anyway, back to the original point of my story. I've decided I'm definitely going to stretch my ears at least a little bit. Nothing too big though. Maybe I'll go until I can get a pen through them... :>

The only problem with stretching piercings is that if you buy a really nice pair of earrings/plugs/tunnels, once your ears are bigger than that, you can't wear them anymore. Good thing stuff at the Silver Mecca (store where I got my current earring dealies) isn't terribly expensive. Mine were 14$ for the pair.

And now I think I will be off to play some violin. I just got all the Apocalyptica cd's from the library (there's 4 of them) and in case you don't know, they are a heavy metal band of 4 cellos (who also plays a good deal of Metallica songs on their cellos. In fact, one cd is nothing but Metallica songs). So this has fuelled my desire to actually practice violin. (These guys are SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD!!!)

Or maybe I won't practice just yet... Depends on whether I want to miss the beginning of Gilmore Girls. Hmmmm.... Tough call..

I think physics gives me ulcers.. I've had this suspicion for a while now.. Before it was that homework (mainly physics assignments) gave me ulcers, but I think I've targeted it to physics. In particular, classical mechanics. Or maybe it's just Hobill (the prof) that gives me ulcers.. And no, I don't ACTUALLY know that classical gives me ulcers.. all I know is that EVERY time I sit down in that class, my stomach suddenly starts hurting, A LOT, and it gets so bad that I can't really move or anything. Which is quite unfortunate because I reach down to my backpack to get my white-out a lot... Although not recently, but only because it ran out and I have yet to motivate myself to get another one.

Siiiiiigh.

Today started out so nicely. I didn't have a physics lab this morning and as such was able to stay at home for a glorious extra three hours (and do math....). Then the only classes I had today were German and a chem lab and the chem lab had no pre-lab involved at all. Plus I got a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup blizzard before the aforementioned lab, so that was good too. And then I went and talked with Jill one of my good buddies from school and usually on Tuesdays we go over the bible study that we both lead for the next day. Tomorrow though we're going out sharing so there was nothing to go over, so we went through a little booklet called "Satisfied?" which is all about being able to experience the Holy Spirit more and therefore being able to have a better life in general.

So we were going through it and one sentence suddenly brought a bunch of images and thoughts to my mind and it was all very confusing because I wasn't able to express what I'd experienced in words at all. Basically the sentence that triggered it was this, "Surrender control of your life to Christ, and rely upon the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence and power by faith, according to His command (Ephesians 5:18) and promise (1 John 5:14-15)." Now, this shouldn't have bothered me, because I do strive to give up control (obviously no one ever realllly acheives this, because we are only human and do enjoy the driver's seat...) but for some reason, when we read "surrender control" I was hit with the strangest ideas that if you were to do this, you would be nothing more than a marionette.

So Jill and I tried to decide if I thought of this because I myself don't want to relinquish control, or if it was a sort of spiritual attack. I imagine it was a bit of both, because I really don't feel that way. Granted I try to be in control some of the time, but even then, I have never thought that giving my life to God would make me a marionette with no say whatsoever. So spiritual attack or not, it served in moving me forwards a couple steps in my walk with God.

I love the feeling when you grow a little bit spiritually. The whole world seems to open up before you and you're filled with a sense of wide open space and peace. You feel elated. I was so happy I actually started crying a bit. Tears of joy do not come often. You should cherish them.

So off I went to my chem lab, smile beaming on my face the entire way, but as is the way with my life,good things don't stick around for very long. The chem lab started off fine enough, but then we got the marked written portions of our midterms back. Turns out I made a ridiculously stupid mistake (I drew out constitutional isomers rather than configurational isomers) which cost me a good deal of marks. Had I not had a slightly dyslexic moment, I would likely have gotten around 90% on the written rather than an astounding 65%. Overall I got 72% on my miterm, which is nice, even if it is only a B. But then, we got two chem lab write up's back. I got a C on both of them. Then on the way home, I picked up the mail and found a letter from the U of C. It was a letter telling me how much scholarship money they were going to give me (finally). I got 500$, which is nice, yes, but last year I got 3000$ from the U of C and had been expecting (and counting on) something similar.

All in all I'm in a bit of a bad mood (good thing I don't have homework that needs immediate attention...). If anyone's looking for me, I'll be sitting over in a corner with a bag of chocolate chips.

I'm done with school. Not even because it's hard, or stupid, or anything, I'm just sick of it. As a result, I haven't been able to bring myself to start any homework yet. No, that's not true, I did 2 or 3 questions on one of my physics assignments. I have a physics midterm Friday and then another one the Wednesday after that I think. I haven't started studying for either and I'm really worried that I won't be able to bring myself to start. That would be bad. Very bad. I just want it to be done.

Well, we bought a house. Or rather, we put down the deposit for the house and will have bought it once we actually pay the people who currently own the house. Either way, we're moving sometime after Christmas.

It's actually quite a nice house, but it does need some remodelling. Hurrah for plaster dust... :>

Hali and I will be in the basement (which, happily, has MUCH better insulation so I won't freeze in the winter..) and at the moment there is no bathroom downstairs, but there's a room set aside for one. So Hali and I get to design it ourselves. It'll be great fun, we just need to make sure that there's room enough for everything. There certainly should be though. The room itself is 9' by 10' which is almost as big as Hali's room in our house in now. We want to have the toilet and shower in their own little room type affair so that someone can shower and other people can be in there at the same time. This is a definite MUST because Hali takes AGES in bathroom. At any rate, that takes up more space, obviously, but I think we've got it mostly worked out.

But I must be off to German. The clock on this computer is rather slow I have just discovered and I run the risk of being late.

Well, I did it.. I dropped one of my classes for next semester so now I'm only taking 4. It felt kinda good, but I also feel kind of bad for not being tough/strong enough to do 5 classes per semester. I wonder how I'll feel when I finally decide whether or not to continue with chemical physics or not... I'm leaning towards not.. We'll see. I think I'm leaving off decided until the end of this year. Or possibly the end of this semester, although if I were to try and change everything for next semester, it might get screwed up and messy and whatnot. We'll have to see I suppose.

One thing I definitely DON'T feel bad about is how nice my schedule is for next semester once that one physics class was gone. It's beeuuuutiful if I do say so myself.