yesterday it was -45 here. yesterday it was also -28 in antartica. now that is really sad.. yesterday i would have rather lived in antartica than calgary.

alright, and now, as promised, i'm going to rant about Scooby. oh hurrah, hurrah. siiigh.

ok, so i suppose in order to fully understand the situation here, you'll have to know a wee bit of background information. throughout grade 12 i had an on-again, off-again almost-crush on scooby. now, i say almost-crush because it wasn't really ever a true crush, more sort of an entertaining of the idea of having a crush on him. just sort of thinking to myself, hey, i almost sorta like Scooby. hmmm... i wonder... oh look! a kitty!...

so anyway, when he got home for Christmas break, most of the people that i know from springbank went to shanks (me included of course or this story would have no point what so ever). and so while we were there the almost-crush sort of flaired up a wee bit, but by a couple days later was again squashed(ish). so, nothing happened at shanks, except that i ended up going to the french maid with 6 other people. (but that's definitely a different story altogether. and not really a very exciting one. basically, i got there and wished that i had never gone, then spent the rest of the time feeling very sorry for the stripers who had been reduced to prostituting themselves in front of a crowd just for money. i really do find it quite sad.) anyway, so then on the 27th of december i saw scooby at Laura's b-day party. still nothing happened there. well, except that he followed me around quite a bit, and i sorta knew that he liked me and all, so it wasn't unexpected and i do like talking to him, so it wasn't that annoying either. also he was one of the very few other people who weren't smashed beyond all belief and therefore made a good conversationalist. (everyone else got distracted very easily...)

(my hands are absolutely freezing... i'm in my room which is just barely warmer than outside. i think i may have to start wearing gloves inside the house. stupid non-existent circulation...)

so, in between meetings, Scooby and i would talk on msn and we made plans to go to Peter Pan (which really wasn't a very good movie. definitely would have been better had we both been about 9 years younger...) anyway, it was kind of scary in there because there was absolutely NO ONE else there. we were the only two people in the entire theatre. that's never happened to me before and it was so very strange. anyway, still nothing happened, and i was quite fine with that.

then i got my wisdom teeth out (yay.......) and a couple days later Scooby came over with pudding in tow. and this is where the story really takes off. so you see, he got there at about 4 and so i figured he might stay for like an hour or two or something and then take off, but no. he stayed muuuuch later than just an hour or two.. he stayed until 2:30ish in the morning. so, first of all we watched an indiana jones movie. unfortunately it was the worst of the three (i picked which one, and i had no idea which one would be good, so i picked the worst). so then after that we had dinner (pizza, which i just sort of gummed and nearly chewed). the pizza was a disaster. it was from IGA and their pizza's are supposed to be cooked when they're defrosted, which this one wasn't. so several times it was put back into the oven to try and get rid of the ice in the middle. and the onions never really ever got fully cooked, so they were always a wee bit crunchy. gross. anyway, after that we played scattagories until we were quite sick of it. (hali beat me. i blame the drugs... plus Scooby kept getting the same answers as me and so i had to keep crossing mine out. for the less scattagories literate, when two people get the same answer, neither one of them gets any points.) so then there was a lot of sitting around and talking and then hali went to bed and that's when things started. (don't worry, there will be no mushy details. mostly because nothing mushy transpired.)

so hali left and then the tickle wars started. see, i used to be horrendously ticklish, then i lost it all and no one could ever tickle me and actually get a reaction, but lately, it's been starting to come back and so i got tickled to near death. other than that, there was a bunch of sharing of occupied space (not cuddling exacly, but semi-sort of close to that (ish)).

and then he left. and actually i suppose that's it's the afterwards events that were the most problematic. anyway, so he's told me that he really likes me, etc. and whatnot. and i've told him about my almost-crush, but that i wouldn't go out with him because he's not a Christian (plus he goes to school in Texas). and now, perhaps no one that's reading this will understand me not wanting to go out with a non-Christian, but it just doesn't work because no matter how much you try to not let it get in the way, going out with a non-Christian will always pull you farther away from God. even if it's only a little bit, it's still there and it still matters. and with a non-Christian, you can't help each other grow in their relationships with God. so anyway, he knows that i won't go out with him, but i don't think he's letting himself actually realize it.

on msn, he keeps dropping these little hints about how he likes me and stuff and i don't want him to be labouring under a false impression that something could come of this. i don't want to appear to be leading him on just to dissapoint him later, but i'm not sure how to tell him without hurting his feelings. i know how horrible it is to hear something like that when you think that everything's fine, (trust me!) so i'm not entirely sure what i should do. i know that i should tell him to forget it, but i don't know how.

neurg. boys are dumb. where are my rocks? the ones that i like don't like me back, and the ones that i don't like, like me. THERE IS NO HAPPY MEDIUM! siiiiiigh.

it's also kind of heartbreaking to be writing this. you see, as i've already said, i'm still quite head over heels for Aaron, and i keep hoping that someday everything will finally work out between us, but he feels for me the same way that i feel for Scooby. and i never plan on going out with Scooby and so, no matter how much i don't want to accept it, Aaron never plans on going out with me.

life can really bite somedays. i wish it would stop. my backside is getting sore.