oh man! i am so very bored. i'm on spare and have nothing to do. i've run out of e mails and can't think of anyone that i should be writing one to. so here i am. let's see. my BHD now has black hair, which is also good, but not quite as cool as electric blue. i am still calling him the BHD... which actually works for black haired dude anyway. well there ya go. now i'm screwed if he goes orange. i had a staff meeting coming up sometime soon. i should probably check into that and make sure i'm not missing it. my gum keeps getting wrapped around my tongue ring, which it never usually does, but i'm chewing the alpine gum stuff so that could be why.

i'm very proud of myself! i've actually been talking to the BHD. usually i just ogle and drool and not much else, but i've actually been talking to him. it's wonderful. now if only i could figure out whatever secret it is that people who always have boyfriends do.. i really don't understand it. it doesn't make any sense. well there are two types of people who have constant boyfriends. the first type includes people who just go out with the same person for years on end. which is forgivable. but then there's the other kind that will have a boyfriend for a while, then break up, then find another, then break up then find another and so on. which i just don't get. because then there's me, who has had a grand total of 3 and a half boyfriends in my entire lifetime. and my first boyfriend was in grade 7.. and i say a half becuase one guy i never actually went out with, but i basically did. sort of. following? and i suppose you could say i've had 4 and a half because i did go out with a guy twice, but apparantly he only went out with me because the other girl he was going to ask out died and he was lonely. or something like that. and another one doesn't really count anyway, because he was just scary and i shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. so yea. i've had 1 real boyfriend in my entire lifetime. and i don't even count that one much because well. yes. he was far too kanoodly for my likings. I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOORS!!! REALLY I CAN!!!! I AM NOT MADE OF PORCELAIN!!!!!! sigh. so yes. i don't understand how they do it. easy sex most likely. hmmm.. alright. so perhaps i don't want to be included in on their secret.. i'd rather not have to resort to being a whore/skank/slut just to get a boyfriend. neurg. perhpaps brainwashing instead.. BHD you looooooove me you want to hooooooold me you want to kiiiiiiiiiiss me you want to huuuuuuuuuug me c'mon and geeeeeeeeet me..